Coaching, Presentations
Ingrid Gudenas
How to move people when logic isn’t enough

David leads a large group in an organization that has over 80,000 people. They’ve been  getting hammered in the news for months now, trying to recover from mistakes made by the then-CEO five years ago.  Unfortunately, they’ve just had to announce layoffs.  There’s a tremendous amount of unsettling re-organization and re-shuffling going on. Where people will land is up in the air.  The future of the organization is uncertain and morale is at an all-time low.

David’s group is the only inspired group in the whole organization. They’re engaged, focused, forward-looking. And helping the new CEO turn the whole organization around. That wasn’t always true.

They’re inspired not because conditions are better for them, but because David changed the story he was telling them.

When David first came for Beyond Persuasion, his attempts to “inspire” his team were falling flat. He was saying all the right things: the new vision, the plan, the priorities, the outcomes, the call to action. All good, but none of it was working.

Coaching, Presentations
Ingrid Gudenas
How to become a fearless presenter

Most people begin presentations unsure how the audience will react. It’s the not-knowing that undermines self-confidence. They look for the first response to regain their footing. And when the reaction isn’t what they expected, confidence drops again.

Prediction vanquishes fear, even when the starting point looks dismal. You’re not needing. You’re not guessing. You’re not hoping or wishing. You’re able to predict. With certainty. Prediction becomes possible when …

Coaching, Presentations
Ingrid Gudenas
Communication Doesn’t Transmit Reality. It ...

Most leaders assume communication transmits reality, that if the words are clear enough, they will see it.

But communication doesn’t transmit reality. It creates it.

That’s a subtle but seismic shift.

And that means every time you speak, especially at a senior level, you are not just sharing ideas. You are shaping how reality is experienced in the room.

Coaching, Presentations
Ingrid Gudenas
The 10 rules of “Audience Logic”

Most people don’t know how to create instant acceptance. It’s rare to see someone who does. When the stakes are high, most think they’re being “logical” when they’re actually relying on a kind of logic that generates too many words. They talk a lot, present too much detail and explanation, believing it’s essential to creating understanding and agreement. Audiences don’t work like that.

Especially at the executive and senior levels. They have their own logic.

To be successful you have to master a different logic. Audience Logic. Audience Logic decides the outcome.

Here are the rules of Audience Logic (especially senior level audiences):

Coaching, Presentations
Ingrid Gudenas
How to win the audience before you say a word

Laura: “You weren’t watching me!”

Me: “No, I could hear you. I knew what you were doing. I was watching the audience to see what change you produced in them.”

Laura had asked me to be there when she presented at an industry conference with hundreds of potential customers. The revenue potential was enormous if she was successful with her presentation. I spent several days coaching her to get her messaging, and the way she delivered it, just right.

The big day came. I was watching the audience like a hawk. I wanted to see the audience reactions from the moment she said “Hello”, all the way through exactly how they looked as she walked off the stage. Were they looking at her with admiration as they applauded? Or shuffling around and checking their phones?

I started watching the audience before Laura even walked on. They were on their phones or talking to the person next to them.  Laura entered the room. I could feel something change in the room as they watched her walk. It was the way she was walking. They could see she carried herself differently.

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The communication secret of high-powered corporate attorneys...

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I was inspired to write this article after attending the very moving Graduation for a group of 26 corporate attorneys who participated in our intensive 10-month professional development program.  The purpose of this program is the achievement of superior communication skills.  It includes developing Coaches who provide carefully crafted personal mentoring throughout the 10 months.  Students apply what they’re learning to challenging situations and demonstrate their ability to create extraordinary results through outstanding communication.

These attorneys are great communicators to begin with. 

However, to say they stepped out of their “comfort zone” to participate in this program is the understatement of understatements. 

The exhilaration both Coaches and participants experienced by the end can hardly be captured in words. 

One graduation requirement is for each participant to make a 2-minute video describing their journey, to talk about what they learned.

They gained a long, long list of new skills.  In their videos, they each talk about the particular ways in which they use them.  Each participant is very unique, has their own individual brand and accomplishments.  And so, it was with some surprise to hear every single one of them highlight the same particular skill that they said they especially valued, one that had a particularly memorable impact on their relationships and their successes…

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Communicating up...even when there's resistance

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The company was in trouble. Wall Street was unhappy. The normally optimistic CEO was tense and tight-lipped during media interviews.

Daniel was watching his CEO on the news with a tight feeling in his stomach. Daniel’s been with the organization for almost 20 years and most of them had been energizing and fulfilling. However and unfortunately, the previous CEO had made significant errors in predicting the direction of technology, and they were paying for it now.

The organization wasn’t a ship you could turn around overnight.

Daniel could easily get a clear concept of the CEO’s vision. It was a good one, a strategy Daniel could believe in, get behind and, with the clever work of his team, help make happen faster and better.

It required radical change, but Daniel saw a clear path for making the CEO’s vision a reality.

The problem was, Daniel had no access to the CEO.

Between Daniel and the CEO are three levels of management. The level right above him had the strategy of a dinosaur, which was, “Don’t change anything”.

This brick wall of “We know best”, and stubborn resistance to new ideas, blocked Daniel from the man with the vision, a vision that was not penetrating down into the organization.

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How to astonish your boss, the world and you

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Elena, one of the Vice Presidents I’m coaching, came in laughing. I’ll let her tell you why in her own words:

“Our corporate office has been making us do the wrong thing with customers. We know it’s wrong and we’ve been complaining, but nothing’s changed, we don’t do anything about it.

My boss, Andrew, and I took a trip to corporate headquarters for a meeting with the senior execs. Andrew went on a rant about how it was wrong (he was right about everything). The senior execs listened but looked stone-faced.

Normally, I would go in combative. Normally, we come in on the defensive, ready to defend our position from corporate. It was clear that “Normally” wasn’t working.

I came in ready to create a real dialogue. I came in with the mindset, “This is an opportunity where we could do something different …”

I let the conversation play out. I came in ready to listen … and I did listen to everything.

Then I took my time and really acknowledged what they said. I made sure they felt I really heard them.

Suddenly, they were ready to receive – I saw a willingness there. And I said, “We know the problem. This is a time we can change direction.”

I saw this difference in them. They were open to it.

It happened so quickly – took less than 10 minutes.

Today we got an official email telling us to go ahead.

Andrew emailed me with, “What just happened?”

I am not such a man

Today’s story about communication is from long ago, 1682 as a matter of fact. Much has been written about the first Thanksgiving and the debt and gratitude owed to the Native Americans who helped the struggling European settlers who were new to this land.

A little known story is of the Quaker William Penn who came from England in the 1600’s to escape severe religious persecution (he’d been thrown in prison twice already for his beliefs). His dream was to form a unique community of religious tolerance and inclusion in the new world, the first of its kind in the world.

The Lenape Native American tribe was already living on the land where Penn wanted to settle.

Before starting out on his journey across the sea, Penn wrote eloquently and respectfully to the Lenape, insisting that his words be meticulously translated into their language:

“I am very sensible of the unkindness and injustice that hath been too much exercised toward you by the people of these parts of the world, which I hear hath been a matter of trouble to you and caused great grudgings and animosities, sometimes to the shedding of blood … But I am not such a man …”

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Communicating "up" without feeling intimidated

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“I want to promote him, but I can’t.”

I heard three different executives say this last week. They were talking about three very different people that report to each of them, that they want me to coach, people who – by total coincidence – have the exact same problem holding them back.

It’s not an inability to do good work or a lack of their boss’s support.

Vikram, Martin and Sharni are all doing great work. Their bosses absolutely want to promote them and are going to bat for them as best they can. They want to make Vikram a Vice President, and Martin and Sharni each a Director.

However, the bosses are getting stopped by pushback from their peers and their own bosses – all for the exact same reason:

Vikram, Martin and Sharni are not seen as “good communicators”.

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How to sound authentic

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Victor says, “I want to sound authentic.”

What a funny request. I started laughing before I caught his serious look and stopped myself.

I asked him, “Are you saying you’re not authentic, but you want to sound like you are?”

Victor: “No, that’s not it. I think I’m authentic.”

But he didn’t sound sure.

Me: “Then what’s the problem?”

Victor: “I just don’t think I sound it. And I don’t know why.”

In a flash, I took in everything about Victor, and I understood.

It started when Victor was little and in school.

Authentic means being who you are, being genuine, true, in opposition to that which is false, fictitious or counterfeit, in other words “put on” to create an appearance.

When Victor was little, I’m sure he had no trouble being authentic. No 2-year old does.

When you're not the CEO and still want people to listen to you

It was one of those days where Gayle wished she were the CEO and could simply tell people, “Just go do it!” and not have to argue with anyone.

Gayle had been trying to get her organization to rapidly act on an opportunity for a new market with the potential for billions in revenue. Sure it was risky, but they were in the middle of a business downturn that wasn’t pretty, and this very possibly could get them out of it. If she could only get them to LISTEN!

They were not only NOT listening to Gayle, they didn’t even want to hear anymore. “We’re done with that, Gayle” was the message she was getting.

For many years now, people have been coming to me because they want to learn how to “persuade”. Over and over I hear, “I need to learn how to ‘persuade’ them.”

I don’t know if you realize this, but there are THOUSANDS of books and classes on “persuasion”.

Basically, “persuade” means get you to do something you don’t want to do, or get you to believe something you don’t believe.

This is why no one likes to be persuaded. And this is why persuasion is not a smart route if you want to achieve extraordinary outcomes.

So, if not “persuasion”, what is it that you really need to learn?

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How to present in a very large room

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The room overwhelmed Alan the moment he stepped in and his eyes touched the endless space around him. Unfamiliarity with the enormous size crushed his confidence and sense of importance, leaving him feeling small, nervous and terribly self-conscious. His walk to the stage was uncomfortable, an awkward expression of embarrassment. Should he walk fast? Slow? He walked like he wasn’t sure.

Alan would be speaking to almost 1,000 of his organization’s leaders in this very room.

He already dreaded the moment the room would be filled with their faces, turned toward him, silently waiting for his first words.

Long before that moment arrived, Alan had already lost the battle to save his dignity and present with confidence.

It was an honor to be invited to join the senior leadership ranks, but Alan was far from feeling the grandeur he experienced when he watched the other senior execs present.

He simply felt small.

Anticipating the event had him drowning in a sea of misery and anxiety.

But Alan wasn’t ready to give in.

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How to Maintain Executive Presence When You Have to Use Slides

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Steve was nervous. New to the executive ranks, he was preparing for his first major presentation to 250 senior leaders of a $30 billion corporation. Let me tell you what was making him uneasy. This is what he told me:

“I’m putting the finishing touches on my slides and I’m nervous. I wish I didn’t have to use them, but I have slides that MUST be shown. I want to be able to engage the audience, and engage them like NO OTHER PERSON EVER HAS, but I’m worried I’m not going to come through because of all the slides I have to show them.”

I understand the problem.

The most important factor in a truly successful presentation is the deep, powerful, human connection a great presenter makes with every person in the room. Slides can easily BREAK your connection with the audience.

Without that connection, your words are weak. They hit the surface of the audience’s mind and bounce off. There’s no impact.

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The Stepping Stone to Executive Presence

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I was coaching Jon, a senior executive located in bustling New York City’s mid-Manhattan.

Jon wants to develop Executive Presence.

We began with presence.

Executive presence is a particular type of presence. It’s an advanced type of presence.

You need to possess tremendous presence before you can develop Executive presence.

A key factor in presence is the ability to stay in the moment.

I taught Jon the robust theory behind presence, and now he was practicing the first exercise he had to master. Jon had his eyes closed so he wouldn’t be visually distracted. He was simply sitting there, being in the moment, learning how to control his attention and awareness and simply stay in the moment.

It was difficult for Jon in the beginning. As he sat there with his eyes closed, he was struggling with a traffic jam of thoughts in his head. Worries about an upcoming meeting, snatches of yesterday’s conversations, sudden rememberings of something he’d promised. A mad rush of thoughts whirled around, colliding in his mind, distracting him from the present moment. Creating chronic anxiety.

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The secret to keeping your audience on the edge of their seats

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Here’s the thing to know about audiences: they will only stay with you as long as they are learning.

I know, I know. The problem is you don’t have exciting content to work with. You have, well, corporate presentation material. And, let’s face it, nobody’s ever made an action movie out of a corporate presentation. I know your challenge. I get it.

But just because the material may seem boring, does not mean that you have to be.

This is something you can do with your own presentations to keep your audience on the edge of their seats. I’m going to tell you how a professional keeps their audience engaged.

Beyond Persuasion

To “persuade” means: to convince, to satisfy the mind, subdue the opposition of the mind, lead to the opinion or conclusion presented, make one think or believe, successfully achieve the acceptance or practice of, create agreement.

It comes from the Latin persuadere - to bring over by talking.

Persuasion is something many people want to accomplish. It’s something they wish they were really good at.

The problem is that what most people think is “persuasion”, doesn’t work. And what they try to do to “persuade” someone who doesn’t want to be persuaded, doesn’t work.

The act of “persuasion” renders you powerless. And that is exactly how you feel when you’re trying to “persuade” – powerless.

Ultimately, “persuasion” betrays a lack of power and little understanding about how to achieve desired outcomes with ease.

What does that look like?

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The end of "flat" presentations

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George was droning on. And no matter how hard he tried, his sounded like every other flat corporate presentation.

Not only was it boring, it made George boring. There was nothing of value in his work or in George. Nothing to pay attention to.

Never having had a real mentor, George was following in the footsteps of the thousands of other tiring corporate presenters he’d seen, all stamped from the same mold.

His presentations had devolved into a stream of words with no meaning.

But George always had the feeling that he was capable of more.

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The one thing that can free you from fear of any audience

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“I get stage fright so bad, my mind freezes up and my ears start to burn.” So said Matt.

Janet, our Lead Trainer, and I were coaching Matt, preparing him for an upcoming in-person presentation he will be giving to 500 leaders from his company, gathered together for a quarterly meeting in a large convention center. Matt is a Senior Vice President, responsible for $6.2 billion worth of annual revenue. He knows his stuff, he’s a good man. Yet terrified of public speaking.

Put Matt in front of 500 people, his expertness, confidence, talent and intelligence drain right out of him.

“I feel all alone up there, completely disconnected. Even when I know what I want to say, it all leaves me.”

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Breaking free from what's holding you back... made easy

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Causative [kaw’-zuh-tiv], adjective: Making what you want HAPPEN. Being able to cause your intended effect or outcome at will.

When did we first stop being causative? Well, if it didn't happen sooner, it probably happened for most of us when we started school and were told to sit down and be quiet … for hours and hours at a time.

They told us exactly where to sit. We weren’t allowed to leave that seat.

They made us ask permission for everything, including leaving the room.

If we did something without permission, we were bad. It didn’t matter if it was right. It was automatically bad if it was done before asking for and receiving permission first. Even if it was just standing up to stretch.

If we wanted to talk, we had to raise our hand and wait to be called on. Raising your hand was dangerous because the teacher was asking a question that had one “right” and many “wrong” answers and when we were wrong, it was very public. Where I went to school, not many hands went up (usually the same ones over and over). We became skilled at avoiding eye contact with the person in the front of the room (something I still see today in my corporate workshops).

We weren’t allowed to talk to each other, only the one person in front of the room.

Everything we did was graded and compared to what everyone else did. Smarter than him but not as pretty as her.

We were graded based on one person's opinion of us, a person who often didn’t understand or like us. A person we thought was paid to be critical of us. To find every flaw.

Most of us did not get straight A’s. We were always falling short on something. Grades could easily make us feel that we were mediocre. Few were happy the day they got their “report card” and some hid them from their parents.

We were severely restrained from being causative. For years.

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Seeing people transform into powerful beings

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We’re still delivering an abundance of virtual coaching, and we also recently opened up our office for in-person training for the first time in 2 ½ years. It’s been thrilling. It’s for small groups of no more than six, so it’s also very personal.

Having the whole person in front of us for the whole day, several days at a time, seeing them laugh and smile in all dimensions, has been rich.

Even more remarkable have been the incredible transformations in their presentation skills.

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How to tell the truth...and why it matters

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Walter is a very high-level engineer who works on new product development, critical products that generate billions in annual revenue for the corporation. He presents quarterly to the CEO and executive leadership team who rely heavily on Walter’s technical expertise.

Walter is a really nice guy with a great sense of humor. I liked him right away. But when he started the presentation that he wanted to practice during our Executive Coaching Session, all the life in him drained away.

I asked him, “Walter, you don’t look like you’re enjoying this very much. What’s happening?”

He said, “I really hate giving this presentation.”

Me: “Why?”

Walter: “Last quarter, without talking to me or my team, the CEO promised Wall Street we would have a new product release in January. A brand new product that’s really complicated to develop. The CEO was feeling pressured because our competition is ahead of us on it.

“In our last presentation I tried to tell him that we’re not ready, that it will take us at least a year and I tried to explain why.

“He cut me off and told me that he had already publicly promised Wall Street and we had to do it. He said that since the competition had done it, he didn’t see any reason why we couldn’t do it. He said it was my problem to figure out, and just to go solve it.

“I went back to my team and we’ve all been running around in complete confusion for the past quarter. We’ve gotten nothing done and now I have to present our quarterly results and we don’t have any. I have to make it look like we’re working on it and moving forward when we’re not, and you’re right - I’m most definitely NOT enjoying this at all.”

Walter was faced with the dilemma of: How do you present something that violates your integrity? (READ MORE…)

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How the "techie guy" learned to win over every audience

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“I’m a techie guy. I’m not one of those dynamic, charismatic types. I don’t even like them.”

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Steve. He had just been promoted to Senior VP. His boss, the Executive VP, reached out to me within weeks of Steve’s starting in his new role:

“You’ve got to help him. He’s in a very visible position now. His presentations are dreadful. He’s dry, monotone, off-putting. The employees are not warming up to him. Frankly, I don’t think they like him.”

The problem was that, while Steve dislikes the dynamic, charismatic type, that’s exactly the words used to describe the previous Senior VP, the one Steve was replacing, the one everyone loved, the one who had just left the company, the one everyone missed, the one everyone wished would come back.

You see the problem.

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This is better than being polished

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“I was struggling to find words.”

Vince, one of our Executive Coaching clients wrote that in an email that he sent along with the video of an extremely difficult conversation he had with a group of very unhappy individuals who felt they had experienced a great injustice.

He wanted to show us how, in an hour, this extremely distrustful group transformed into a smiling, grateful, warm, and unbelievably appreciative group of individuals who beamed at him with great friendliness.

It was remarkable to see.

Vince’s journey has been a fascinating one. He is a deep man, a good man.

Like many who come to us for Executive Coaching, his goal was to have executive presence and polish.

Isn’t it funny that now, after his coaching, he is writing about struggling for words? It sounds like he’s not “polished”. You would think he didn’t achieve his goals.

Yet Vince achieved something that goes way beyond.

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The secret to more progress, faster

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Don (VP of a major corporation here for coaching): “I want to extend my executive presence throughout the organization, beyond my immediate area.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Don: “I want them to know I can add value to their activities.”

Me: “Is there a problem with that?”

Don: “Yes, they’re not seeing it. They think that I can only add value in my own area. Not outside of it, not for them cross-functionally in the organization. It’s frustrating.”

Me: “Have you ever told them that you can add value?”

Don: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Don: “They need to see it for themselves.”

I call this “Executive Charades”.

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